Saturday, 10 April 2010

Trying to explain myself.

Oh my goodness, I have had the most strangest of times recently. Everything has been topsy truvy in my world at the moment. Hazy, strange and confusing, but I can not put my finger on it. I have a very long list of really silly and strange things that have been going on from the time every technical I owned has broken down completely computer, Printer and phone (which we are having a current nightmare trying to recieve a new one, the first one arrived with no sim, the second with no battery. Third time lucky with next one on its way eh?)

These things do not really bother me as such, these things happen, but it has been the start of silly things occurring. Really silly thing that i have done. Examples. I recently bought myself a beautiful if over expensive address book I had the rare chance to spoil myself with.

I fell in love with beautiful material, paper and font and it was one for life and I made the impulsive decision to buy it for myself and could not wait to show it to big fella.When I eventually got home, I rummaged about my purchases, but it was not there. I had left it somewhere, never to be found again. Lost treasure. After asking all the shops if it had been handed in, big fella was lovely in saying he would but me a new one. Until he saw the price. He proclaimed I was mad to pay that when I can get one in the pound shop. If I win the lottery I will come back for it.

I have left my wages in pockets and done the laundry, lost important paperwork and had password failures on computers at the most awkward of times in work. Then today I waited in a twenty minute queue to get money out of the cash machine only to realise that i forgot my purse, left on the table at home miles away! This is just a snippett of the silliness.

I had just written a very truthful post about these strange couple of weeks of blahness only for me to delete it half way through writing it by mistake! I has written about how my current mood is reflecting on my posts and everything else and it kind of made sense. I felt I was showing something real on the blog for once, showing the real me, opening myself up to you but this has been the way things have been at the moment and all I have to give you now is this post.

I do hope this blahness fades and fast, I and will be back to being me soon. Nothing is wrong yet nothing is right. Just a haziness surrounding me and no pictures on my camera have been taken.I have been walking about like a zombie for the past couple of weeks and I feel I have been put under some strange spell. So I had to write on my blog, just to move out of the haze if only a wee bit.I do read your posts as best as I can, I sometimes just feel that when I write a comment or write on my blog, doesn't come out right, sounds silly, or makes no sense at all. Onwards and upwards as they say. I hope so anyway! Hopefully back to being me soon! All the Best!


mxtodis123 said...

Sorry to hear you are going through such a state. Somehow it seems it will never end, doesn't it? But it will. Everything that happens to us is a lesson. Remembering that is what helps me get through those periods where nothing seems to go right.

Rudee said...

Get some holy water and sprinkle it around everything. Then rinse your hair in it.

We used to keep holy water in our ICU. When patients went stark raving mad, we'd sprinkle the stuff liberally.

No lie.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I hope you feel more like your old self soon! Until then, hugs from the big fella sound lovely!

Cindy said...

Just be you in what ever mood your in, we love you right now today. be well.

Gina said...

Hang on in there. Things will get better I promise. I often get days, weeks and some times months like it. I know it's hard but it will pass. The main trick I've learned is to not feel guilty about it. Accept that you are not feeling 'right' just as you would accept that you had a cold or headache. Instead of dwelling on the negatives try and concentrate on any positive ( no matter how small). Write out what is good/right in your life, no matter how small and put the list on the fridge, your screen saver on the computer, the bathroom mirror and take time to read it everytime you see it. It will help I promise.

I know you don't know me but I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now. I suffer with clinical depression so I know a bit of what you are going through. If you feel you need to put your words down then feel free to email me. It doesn't matter how random the words might be or if you don't want an answer you will feel better if you do it, you won't be boring me as I've been there.
I hope some of this is helpful to you

love and hugs Gina xxx

brandi said...

~sorry to hear you have been in a haze...may it be lifted adn cleared away...i have at many times been exactly in your shoes...when going to my accupucturist she suggested ginko biloba for memory and just feel clear minded...just a suggestion...i do hope your treasure makes it back to you...well wishes and brightest blessings upon you always~

clairedulalune said...

Hello everyone, thank you so much or all your advice and thoughtful words. not as hazy today, even took some pictures outside!Yay!

Mary, your words ring very true right now, thank you for that lift!xx

Rudee, this reminds me of a average weekend in my granny house! Haha! good luck in the search for your fourlegged friend, Dobby!

Debra, so good to have you back, never mind me, how are you? hope your recouperating well!

My dear cinner, you always make me feel brighter when I read your posts, your words means volumes! hope you are doing good!

Gina, thank you so much for your support, I am sorry to hear you have experinced it yourself, but thankful to know that there is a end to the tunnel! I am begining to see the light! I will check out your blog very soon!

Faerwillow (what a beautiful name) thank you for that! Now, when you say ginko biloba, i am sorry for my ignorance, is that a tea? Thanks again, I will look into that! I am lurking around the idea of a "healthier lifesytle" I feel this is a part of my problem, coffee just don't cut it!

Thank you again everyone, I will post very soon, you have really lifted my spirits! Thank god the is no spirit bottles in the house at least, Thats the last thing i need! haha!xxx

Sarah Sullivan said...

Oh geesh hon..I feel horrid that I missed this post!! I felt this way for weeks most of last month in fact..just couldn't get it together..all kinds of odd things going on!
Breathe hon and know it is a passing phase..kinda like with kids..but we get them too it seems. This too will pass hon. In the mean time am sending you energy and love! Hugs, Sarah

Thank you for you comments about the dentist hon...ackkk me too..hate sucking it up :)