Sunday, 11 April 2010

Feeling much brighter.

Well today is Sunday and I woke up, got up out of bed went into the living room and sat down. I knew I could well be here for most part of the day, so haziness sets in. I can't even remember signing into my blog, but there on the computer screen were comments waiting to be read. I forgot I had posted, it had become more Wish Cast Wednesdays and My town Friday shoot outs on my other blog recently.

All I can say is thank you so much, I really needed to read your comments and supportive words. As I sat reading, I realised I can not go on like this and anyway I was seriously out boring myself at this point in time with this strange mood which has knocked me like a ton of bricks recently.
I am better at pictures explaining things instead of words, so let me put it to you this way. (Yes, I started taking pictures again, Yay!)

Sometime ago now, my little world suddenly started to turn a icy grey and everything in it turning silent still. Everything stopped for reasons unknown at the time. Now I know it does not need a reason sometimes.

This slowly turned into a kaleidoscope of strangeness,that would not let go and towards the end, I don't think I could let go of.

"I miss the comfort in being sad" was a lyric by Kurt Cobain and looking back that lyric was making sense to me.
My life felt like it was right through that door, I had just mislead the keys in my hazy strange new world somewhere.

Well, let's just say the keys are in the latch and I am using all my might to turn it and open that door. Give me back my wee world the way it was, please!

My wee world view at the moment is like this

Still haze round but the warmth is coming back! Thank you so much again! I have left you all a individual comment on the comments page in reply to you. I will try and do that from now on, so keep a look out!

After reading your comments and having a stern word with myself, my ever knight in shining armour, big fella of course, got the day off work early and came bounding in and proclaimed he had the biggest eggs in the world. Would I like some breakfast for a change and then go for a wee walk?
Just what I need! A hearty breakfast and a lovely Sunday walk! After giving big fella a big hug and a smile he said he nearly recognised me, and I asked about these big eggs. He pulled out of the bag, a box of duck eggs! Huge big things they were and me being a huge fan of dippy egg soldiers, could not wait to try the even bigger ones.

Sadly I was slightly let down, I prefer chicken eggs to be honest. Twenty minutes later it would seem the feeling was mutual and lets just say duck eggs and me do not agree with each other. Ah, well at least I know eh?

Anyway, it was a beautiful day so eventually off we went for a wee walk around the neighbourhood with my camera armed in my hand and not in my bag. As I walked out the door on the window ledge outside, these wee gorgeous beauties were wishing me good morning. I already realise how much I have been missing.

Tulips were raising themselves for that last dance in the sunlight in full bloom

and wow, my favourite, cheery blossoms were being to bloom! I think these are the most beautiful fairy tale like tree for when you are walking underneath them in full bloom and the petals fall everywhere, it is like magic itself.
I am missing the magic! I loved the walk it was exactly what a needed and big fella knew it. Isn't he the best? I would contact Ricki Lake chat show about him, but I don't think he would be up for it. Could be worse, could be Maury. (You are........NOT....... the father! is not an episode we want to take part in)

Any road, later today big fella had to go and asked me what I had planned. Well, not sitting down anytime soon sir! I put on my running gear, and took a walk down to the bottom of the prom watching the sunset. Glorious pink orange and red encrusted cloud skies. I closed my eyes listened to the waves and soaked it all in. The vitamin D was needed I think!

Life was coming back to me. Then I turned around, took a deep breath and began to run. I ran and ran until I could not anymore (which was about six houses up) but it did me the world of good and here I am blogging again. Sometimes it is best to writing it all down and it has done me the world of good. Please do not get me wrong, I am far from my usual self, but I am definitely getting there!

Thank you so much again for your support, your words can move mountains, mean the world to me and I will catch up with you all soon! ((hugs))


Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm glad your Sunday changed for the better. Isn't funny how blogging (or should I say our blogger friends) lift us up from the dumps? The same happens to me every now and then: I'm in the deepest end of ugly, click on Pagan Culture, and my Wicked Darlings make my day!

You rule Luv!

mxtodis123 said...

I'm glad you are feeling better. I recently went through one of those spells, and I know exactly what you were going through. And a walk in nature? How healing is that!!!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Isn't Spring wonderful! So glad you and big fella got out and about today!

Dede said...

I am so glad to hear that you are starting to find the old Claire. She needs to be let outdoors. Give Big Fella a big hug and thank him for me. Welcome back Claire!


Shell said...

Glad your feeling better, Claire. I take breaks all the time from blogging...especially when I feel uninspired.
I rather write when I'm in sync with myself.

the wild magnolia said...

So glad you have let the sun shine on you again. Getting outside into the air that moves always refreshes me.

Big fellow did good.

Thinking of you as a blog friend.

Anonymous said...

Life is often very trying but it's always there; the most special gift of all.

CJ xx

Mary from Diet Site said...

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Sarah Sullivan said...

Awww glad you are feeling a bit closer to you..wonderful funny girl. Sorry I was late to the posts..but sending gentle hugs your way sweetie!!
Love, Sarah

Bella Sinclair said...

AAAAAAAAHHHH! I just want to throw my arms around you and give you a GIANT squeeze. (You're through feeling the effects of the duck eggs, right?) Bless Big Fella for bring you back in the sunshine. Bless the sun for greeting you with a splendid show of colors. Sometimes it's good to wallow for a while. But I'm so happy to hear that you are slowly but surely stripping away those Blahs.


Holly said...

Oh my, dear one, I can so relate. I'll be hoping my turn around comes soon, too!

Hugs from across the pond!