Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Can't we all just get along?

Well, howdy do everyone, and I do hope your well.
I normally do my wish casting Wednesday post but this cropped up and I am a bit numb due to it. But of course,as you wish for yourself, I wish for you also!

I have just had a very interesting revelation unfolded to me on dear old facebook. Now, although I have a page there, I do not go on facebook very often at all. This is basically due to the tripe of office politics and what have you, amongst a few people in the workplace. In which, I can not tolerate and simply do not have time for. I do not wish to get involved, thanking you kindly.Especially on facebook.

So, I haven't tread over there in quite a while, until I got a email through facebook from a long lost friend which I was really happy about. After replying to her, I had a read for old times sake to see what everyone was up to. It would seem everyone in work is quite busy preparing themselves for a huge birthday party for a member of staff.
Expect for me. I was not invited. I did not even know about it.
Oh, actually I tell a lie, the puzzle slipped into place when someone earlier asked me to put money in for the cake they were going to get for the party. Which I was not invited to. Yeah. (Though the girls face when she had realised she slipped up, priceless.) I felt recently that something was up, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Everybody acted normal, but yet........
They obviously thought I would not go on facebook to see all the preparations and how everyone could not wait for the big night. It's not really the fact that I was not invited, but it is the fact that they kept it from me. I work very closely with these people very day, and my torrid imagination runs riot when I think of what they are saying as soon as I am out of ear shot. Bloody paranoia!

To be fair, I do not go out much socially with them anyway,they go out drinking, but occasionally I do turn up. There is a simple reason is this. Believe or not, I don't enjoy alcohol very much. Just once in a while. But I really enjoy their company and we always have a good laugh each time I go.

I did feel we were all on friendly working terms and yet not a word was spoken about this party in front of me. To make it worse preparation has been going on for weeks and it is huge! I am pretty mortified to be honest, even putting it on here for you to read. It doesnt sound too good does it? It is quite hurtful in a way, more hurtful than if they talked about the party in front of me.

That's my problem with it. It seems mean and sneaky, yet I know if the people in question were confronted by me about this, they would probably invite me immediately.Out of embarrassment no doubt, not because they wanted me there.

So facebook is not my friend, blogging is. You are. I would love to put photographs of my self and big fella on my blog to put a face to the name, so to speak, but I am so worried someone will find me out and ruin my time here. Because I like it here. I love it here. It's sure better than bloody facebook!

So I have options:

a) Go into work tomorrow and be a huffy cow and be unprofessional to boot and let myself down. (This will never happen as I feel it is THEY who are being unprofessional and letting themselves down, and there is enough of that already!)

b) Simply kill them with kindness and buy the flaming cake myself, gatecrash the party with cake in one hand and empty bottle of gin in the other and present it to the birthday girl by flinging the cake in her face as a party surprise on the big night.

c) Simply let it be water off a ducks back, keep calm, continue as normal and if (forced)to eventually be invited, politely decline for every one's health and safety and wish the lady a Happy birthday when the day arrives and learn some lessons from this. I bet in all the preparations, no body got candles, so I will give these to show no hard feelings.

Well, my head is mumbling c, but my heart is screaming B!!!
I will sort it all out in due course, and there is probably a reasonable explanation for it all. I will just let them know that if they are having a party and only selected people are invited, that is perfectly acceptable.(Also the fact that I am their manager may be a factor.) I realise they may think they are sparing my feelings by their actions.

Just don't be all cloak and dagger about it in work, it can be hurtful for a silly reason like plastering over it on facebook in the first place.
They may have cake, they may even have candles, but do they have fireworks by the window? I think not.

I know where I would rather be.

I am sorry, I had to get that out, I feel better now. I am off to delete my facebook page and practise smiling in the mirror to get ready for Thursday's latest saga in the workplace. I will have to go on facebook to find out about it of course.

Cest la Vie!


mxtodis123 said...

Gosh, that's really awful, and I know how you feel. It happened to me. The agency where I work is fairly small...15 people...and most live in the Bronx and one of the Bronx girls was having a party. So, one day my co-worker friend asks me if I am going to the party, and my reaction was "What party?" I tell you what I did. I kept going to work like nothing happened. I wasn't going to let them see that they hurt me. I actually wouldn't have gone anyway and there were a few others not invited, but it's the thought. And Facebook? Don't have it and don't want it. I was in total shock when a friend showed me how you can read someone else's notes to people

Sandra Lundy said...

Oh wow....that's awkward! How weird/strange/childish/mean for them to do such a thing :(

I agree that facebook can be an odd, completely un-private place. I also find that I am spending less and less time there recently for many reasons. I enjoy catching up with my flickr contacts on fb....but that's about it.

I hope everything turns out okay for you.... One thing I do know is that "they" are on the losing end here :) Sending {hugs}! ♥

Cindy said...

I agree with Sandra, they are the ones losing out for sure, besides your busy. this post makes me happy I am not working anymore, the last place was so clicky but if you were not the in person of the week. lookout. Shame on them. They need to grow up. Big hug to you my friend.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The pain of exclusion is like a knife in the back, I know. Sending you hugs, dear Claire.

Shell said...

That sucks. I fault whoever though the idea up. At office parties, you should invite everyone. When we held parties, I made sure everyone was invited. I hate for anyone to feel left out.
Also now, you know what kind of people you work with. Just really insensitive people.

Rue said...

It's too bad they are so ignorant. To ask you to chip in for cake, when you weren't invited - grrr!

You don't need friends like that.

Dede said...

Claire you are such a bigger person than your co-workers will ever be. Let it roll off, they are not worth your peace and joy. We love you here!


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh God, cleek's. (is that how you spell that?), of women! Just horrible. It may very well be because you are the manager. Some people have no idea how to act with someone in a management position. I would imagine they want to let their hair down and not have to worry about how you might react back at work. I've had that in management positions - it goes with the territory I'm afraid. They could be entirely suprised to find out you feel so left out. Honestly, I would bet the farm on it being the case.

Bridgett said...

If it makes you feel better, you'd be teh first person I'd invite to my birthday party, and that's a fact. :)

Why not keep your facebook and just delete all the meanies? I'm on facebook and I'd love to be friends with you there. :D


Renee said...

I think not. I don't think they have fairies right out their window at all.

C is the best option and let it go.

Remember to try in you head to think nothing is personal. This is work, you have your own friends, and believe me this is better.

I must say it is mean spirited but.....

Love Renee xoxo